Truth time: I swear a whole fucking lot. Like, all the time I’m dropping f bombs, and s bombs. Basically, if there’s a bomb to drop, then I’m letting it fly.
I don’t know exactly how I got this way. (SPOILER ALERT!) The only time I’ve ever heard my Mom swear was after I told my little brother that Santa didn’t exist. My Dad swears more frequently, to be fair, but certainly not at my level. So somewhere along the road of life, swearing just became a large part of my vocabulary. I don’t even realize that I’m doing it most of the time.
But the other month, we were out to dinner with some friends and one of them prefaced a sentence with, “Excuse my language” before saying the word “Shit.”
In that moment, I realized that I’d spent most of the evening dropping my usual bombs, and that this girl was likely offended by them, but too polite to say so, and that her prefacing the sentence was a subtle way to let me know that I needed to shut the fuck up.
So for the past month, I’ve been trying to watch my language. After all, I’m getting older and, I don’t know, I certainly don’t want to offend people. So I brought the idea up with E the other night, and here’s how that conversation went:
Me: I’m going to put a swear jar in the house somewhere, I think.
E: OK… why?
Me: Well, I swear a lot. You know? So, I was thinking of putting money into a jar every time I fucking swear, so that I, you know, stop doing that.
Me: Because I watched this BuzzFeed video about signs that being ladylike isn’t your forte, and they showed this girl cursing every other word, and I realized that’s ME. Like, I do that.
E: So what?
Me: Well, I mean, doesn’t it bother you?
E: Yeah, I mean, I think being ladylike is overrated.
Me: Oh thank God, because I was really fucking worried that you were offended and I’d have to stop swearing and stop being, well, like myself.
E: Be yourself. I don’t ever want you to change.
Me (in my head): You are the best boyfriend ever, and thank the stars for you.
So, yes, I suppose the truth of the matter is that I am not ladylike. I curse a lot. And it’s part of who I am, and that’s OK. It’s great even. Don’t be afraid to let your un-ladylike flag fly, because while some people may poo-poo your potty mouth, there will absolutely be someone who loves you for being the offensive you that you are.
That was convoluted, but it’s nice to know that being ladylike is overrated, and I was really glad to hear E say it. Oh, and if you’re curious about that video, check it out below. (It’s basically my life story.)