Things I Learned About Marriage From “House Of Cards”

It took me roughly a month, but I finally finished watching Season 2 of House of Cards. (Warning: If you haven’t seen any of Season 2 yet and you don’t want any spoilers, this is the time for you to stop reading.)

House of Cards

Here’s what I learned about married life from Frank and Claire:

  • Smoke. Smoke some more. And then smoke again. It’s sexy.
  • If your husband kills his mistress/reporter confidant, don’t ask questions.
  • Invite your husband’s coworkers over for dinner. Serve BBQ. Make them feel bad by flaunting how well your marriage functions, and then manipulate them into going to therapy.
  • The occasional threesome with your bodyguard is an easy way to spice up your love life. (Especially if said bodyguard has just cut open his hand and had a bit too much bourbon.)

House of Cards Threesome

  • The couple who runs (physically) together, wins together.
  • And if running isn’t an option, there’s always that weird rowing machine.
  • Also, the couple who calculates other people’s demise together will likely take over the Oval office.

Thank you, House of Cards, for a thoroughly enjoyable Season 2, as well as all the life lessons. (They’ve been noted.)