A Conversation About Wedding Dress Shopping

Friend: Did you find your wedding dress?

Me: I did!

Friend: Did you cry when you tried it on? Because you knew it was *the one*?

Me: LOL, no.

Here’s the thing: Say Yes to the Dress is a wonderful show that I often binge-watch while shoveling Skinny Pop into my mouth, but it’s also a web of lies.

In fact, there were a number of lies I was told leading up to the actual act of shopping for my wedding dress. Like…

  • “You’ll get champagne while you shop!” I wish this were true. I probably would’ve bought a dress a lot faster than I did if it were. But 4/4 stores gave us water in a disposable cup, not a glass of champs in sight.
  • “You’ll find your dress at the first store.” This was 100% untrue for me. It took a solid four stores, and a minor anxiety attack at the third store because I was convinced I wouldn’t find anything. Finding the right dress can often be hard, and that’s OK! ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
  • “Wedding dress shopping is fun!!!” I’m not saying that buying a fancy dress isn’t fun, but it’s also really stressful. As someone who had no idea what I wanted, dress shopping was more of a task to be checked off than anything else.
  • “You’re gonna bawl your eyes out.” OK, to be fair I did cry at one point. I walked out in what I thought was a truly hideous gown, and my mom began to cry, which led me to say, “Why are you crying?!” And then I cried. I cry easily. I was also really hungry that day. Don’t shop while hungry.
  • “When you find *the one,* you’ll just know it.” I definitely knew that I liked the dress I ended up buying, but did I “just know it”? Not really. And I’ve had to unfollow most of the wedding sites on Instagram that I used to enjoy so that I stop having buyers remorse about my dress. There are so many options out there, but you’ll know you’ve found *the one* when you can see yourself getting married in it, which I did.

What they should really tell you before dress shopping, and the one piece of advice I’ll give is this: Don’t feel badly if you don’t cry, or don’t have a *this is THE ONE* moment. All you need to feel is that this is a dress you can get married in — find that dress, buy that dress, and then pour yourself some champagne afterward (because the store won’t be pouring one for you, but you deserve it).

How To Write An Amazing Plot Twist

I love a good page turner. There are few things more satisfying to me then starting a book and not physically being able to put it down. So much so that you look up from said book only to realize that you’ve been in your pajamas all day, and now it’s nighttime.

Such was the wonderful case when I read Jessie Rosen’s Dead Ringer — a YA novel that is chock-full of secrets, and has one of the most amazing plot twists I’ve ever read. Seriously, this plot twist will make you scream. I was yelling at this book. I didn’t know I was capable of that.

Which is why I asked Jessie for advice on how to write a great plot twist. Not only because I aspire to be a writer like Jessie someday, but because I wanted a look inside the mind of someone who came up with this plot twist. Jessie, in turn, wrote all about it for today’s guest post. Her advice is, as always, on point and full of unexpected turns! Buy Dead Ringer here so we can discuss this plot twist together, please.DeadRingerCover

How To Write An Amazing Plot Twist, by Jessie Rosen

There is little I love more than a gasp-inducing, throw-the-book-across-the-room, shout a four-letter-word plot twist. BRUCE WILLIS IS ALSO DEAD?! SHE’S HER SISTER AND HER DAUGHTER?! HANS WAS EVIL ALL ALONG??!!

But loving them and writing one are two very different things. And yet, when conceiving of the idea behind my first YA novel, DEAD RINGER, plot twist was the whole point. I (like to) think I pulled it off (Erin thought so!). Here are my tips for twisting a plot so hard it makes your reader’s heads spin.

STEP ONE: Start with a completely insane idea that you’ll never be able to pull off

The twist wasn’t an after thought for DEAD RINGER; it was the entire pitch. I started with, imagine if __________?!?! And then I spent at least a month thinking, nope, too ridiculous. Coming up with a way for it to not be complete and utter insanity was my job. It can be tricky to reverse engineer a twist into an existing world. I recommend twisting first and straightening second. Also good advice when dancing.

STEP TWO: Decide when and how you’re going to do the big reveal

Again, work backwards. If you know when and how you’d like to spill the story’s biggest beans you can figure out how much meat you need before and after that moment. I wanted a very late shock ala GIRL ON A TRAIN, but a book like GONE GIRL features a mid-point reveal which is equally excellent. Pick the “Girl” you prefer, but know before you go.

STEP THREE: Select your red herrings

Herrings, plural. When developing characters to fill out your world you need to consider who we’ll think is involved in the mystery and why. I have one sort of red herring and one real red herring (and as much pickled herring as possible, always). A lot of plot came from that fact and needed to be carefully woven.

STEP FOUR: Never ever lie to your reader

You’re keeping a big, big secret, but every detail still has to make sense when the reader finds out what’s been up all along. It’s so fun to play with dialogue, language and description that dances that like (watch THE SIXTH SENSE for a master class), but do not step over!

STEP FIVE: pour everything you’ve got into your big reveal scene

In DEAD RINGER I reveal the twist to the audience in once scene but to a character in another. Double bang for my buck! Both of those moments were my absolute favorites to write and, shockingly, came the easiest. What does this say about my mental state? Let’s not dwell on that.

And finally STEP SIX: Read as many twisted plot examples as you possibly can

Getting it right is about feeling what works and doesn’t from your own reader’s ear. There are a lot of ways to skin a cat (please forgive the aggressive cat-related saying, Erin), but this is your big Hitchcock moment, so you get to make it your own.

Good luck! God speed! Coffee helps! Can’t wait to read it.

The Problem With Choosing A Gummy Bear As Your Spirit Animal

I should start this off by saying that back in 2012, I declared my spirit animal to be a gummy bear. Which is just about as serious a commitment I’ve made to anyone ever. Maybe even more serious than my impending nuptials, if I’m being honest.

animalHowever, after closer inspection of the term “Spirit Animal” on Urban Dictionary dot com, I’m beginning to wonder if I committed too quickly to this gummy bear animal.

Gummy Bear:

Small in size, vibrant in color, boxy in stature, with a rounded abdomen that could be described as “squishy.” Skills include soaking up vodka, sitting in bowls, and singing and performing in music videos. When faced with being an ice cream topping, they turn into chewy, almost painfully hard rocks, and they’ve also been known to lie about their real flavor. (The green ones are strawberry flavored. Yes, green = strawberry, according to gummy bears.)

I’m not saying I don’t embody a significant number of these things. Because I’m only 5’2, just a few inches shy of being the legal height of a little person, I am a bit boxy. My red hair is arguably a ‘vibrant’ hue and, on more than one occasion, I’ve soaked up a significant amount of vodka.

But turning to stone around ice cream? I’m just not OK with that. Had I given this more than a passing thought, I would’ve picked a more sensible animal to embody my spirit, like a sloth, or Wild Turkey. #regrets

Pro Tips For Attending a Chippendales Show, From Someone Who Survived It

When you Google “Chippendales gif,” this is essentially what comes up:
Which is fairly misleading, because at the Chippendales show I saw last night there was no blood-red backdrop, and no men who looked anything like Chris Farley. (RIP, and god bless this sketch, it was hilarious.)

For those who aren’t in the Chippendales-know — because perhaps you live under a rock — it’s a male review show with its mecca at the Rio in Las Vegas, as well as some traveling shows. (I know this because I went to a Chippendales show in Boston when I was in college, as well as when I was 21 and in Las Vegas for the first time. You could say I’m a bit of a Chips connoisseur.)

As such, I’ve got some pro tips for any first timers visiting Las Vegas. Or just anyone who wants to up their viewing pleasure the next time they catch a performance.

  • Arrive to the show at least 30 minutes early. You can take photos with the performers and there’s a bar to grab a pre-show drink. Often times there will be some dancers hanging out that you can chat up at the bar too. We spotted James Davis, for example, and talked to him a bit before we got to see him dance onstage. It was fun! Like seeing a beautiful lion out of its cage and getting to pet it in the wild, so to speak.
  • THINK BEFORE YOU DRESS. If you want to be pulled onstage, consider that you might have to sit on a chair, or bend, or be used as a prop, and if you’re in a dress and wearing a thong, well… things of yours will be seen that cannot be unseen. Otherwise, dress in clothes that allow for hooting and hollering and intense flailing of the arms. Trust me on this.
  • If you’re celebrating a birthday or bachelorette party, make sure the lucky lady is decked out in garb that alerts the dancers to that fact. This is an amazing venue for a celebration, and when the dancers can see that you’re celebrating, they’ll make extra effort to give that person the attention they deserve.
  • Do your research before you attend and pick a favorite Chippendale. The website has stats on all the dancers, and really fun images. This isn’t going to actually help you, but it is a pretty fantastic way to pass the time. Here’s mine (“He can peel a mango with his bare hands.” !!!) :


  • If you want to be brought onstage, the best way to do that is to shout and get excited when they’re combing through the audience. I noticed that the girls who popped right out of their seat during routines were often chosen to go onstage.
  • BUT, there are exceptions to this too. I saw a lot of shy girls get pulled onstage by the guys. They want everyone to be having a good time, and if it looks like you’re not fully in the moment, they just might make you part of the moment. So fear not, shy folks, there’s hope for you!
  • Stick around after the show ends and get a photo taken with the dancers. It’s all part of the fun, and then you get to see them up close and personal. Much like this adorable family portrait below:
  • There are no bad seats at a Chippendales show because the dancers wander around the audience. So spend the extra dough on the seats next to the stage, or pay what you can and sit in the back. Either way, you’ll be surrounded by dancers and have great views of the stage.
  • And in general, I’d vote in favor of going into a Chippendales show being prepared to totally lose your voice from screaming. I can barely talk today, and I couldn’t be happier. My friend got pulled onstage and I screamed my face off. Priceless.

52 Times My Best Friend Was The Best Friend

I can’t believe my best friend is getting married next year. She’s the most beautiful woman in the world with a smile that could melt your pants off, so I’m not ACTUALLY surprised that a very intelligent man proposed to her. But I can’t believe she’s getting married because I’ve known her since we were in the second grade, and it doesn’t seem like all that long ago that we would just get excited if a guy looked at us without blinking… Let alone marry us.

And this weekend is the bachelorette party. It’s in Vegas. So, yes, we’ll be having a very Chippendale’s, drinking by the pool, wonderfully tacky Las Vegas bachelorette, and I couldn’t be more excited.

Here’s a photo of the last time Elisa and I took a trip to explicitly drink together, circa 2012 in Napa. Clearly being together and drinking agrees with us:

This upcoming trip got me thinking about a lot of things. A lot of friendship things. In particular, what an amazing BFF Elisa has been to me throughout the years. And I wanted to write down all of the ways Elisa has been the light of my life before we go away this weekend to drink our dang faces off.

  1. When we discovered we have the same birthday. We were in our second grade classroom, and the teacher assigned us the “homework” of figuring out who was born first. I was born in the morning, and you slept in. This is not a surprise. I’m glad you let me be the morning person. I love mornings.
  2. In sixth grade, when I locked our math teacher out of the classroom. She was mean, and deserved it. But she said whoever did it had to fess up, or everyone would get a detention. When I fessed up, you wrote me a note saying that I was a “brave” person. I still have that note.
  3. When we’d have sleepovers at your house, and you’d help me put sheets on the rollaway bed. That meant a lot.
  4. When we spent our weekends at the movie theater by your house.
  5. And when we bought a box of those really terrible but really great sugar cookies with frosting before each movie, and ate it together in the parking lot.
  6. When we went to your house to choreograph a dance to Mya’s “Take Me There” for a gym presentation. (Seriously, what was our school, even?)
  7. During every single cheerleading practice in middle school. Because being a cheerleader wasn’t cool at our school, but we had fun, so whatever.
  8. Whenever we passed notes to each other in class about Hanson. And would sign them, “Mrs. Tay.”
  9. And when we briefly moved on from Hanson with NSYNC, and your love for Lance was almost as strong as my love for JC Chasez.
  10. How excited you were when I interviewed Lance years and years later, and he signed a piece of paper for you. That was magical.
  11. When you’d come to my house in the summers and we’d talk for hours while doggy paddling in the pool.
  12. And how you never judged me for having to wear all the sunscreen and t-shirts over my bathing suit. Even though you’ve always tanned an enviable golden brown.
  13. When we left middle school, and went to different high schools that were so far away. But we still stayed close and called each other almost every day.
  14. When you came to each and every one of my high school dances as my date.
  15. And years later, when I had my high school reunion, you were invited too, because we hung out so much that people actually thought you went to our high school. LOL.
  16. When we got an unlimited pass to Busch Gardens in Tampa, and we spent one summer there, basically. Your dad would drop us off in the morning, and we’d ride the sky tram or the train and eat chicken fingers. You hate roller coasters, so we’d just cruise around, doing nothing, and it was fantastic.
  17. When you went on a family trip with me to Mexico.
  18. And when we almost missed the cruise ship back, because we had too much to drink and I tried to steal a T-shirt from a gift shop.
  19. OK, I did steal a T-shirt from a gift shop. I thought it would fit me. It was for a toddler. But you laughed instead of making me feel like a total idiot. Which I was.
  20. When it came time to look at colleges, and we both wanted to go to FSU together and be roommates.
  21. So we went to tour the campus. And you got in trouble for not telling your mom that we were going there by ourselves. And I got in trouble for not telling my mom that your mom didn’t know. It was complicated.
  22. When we both walked by the frat houses at FSU, trying to look cool, but you tripped and I burst out laughing.
  23. Sorry I did that. You forgave me. That was cool of you.
  24. When I had to tell you that I wasn’t going to go to FSU, but wanted to go to an out of state school in Boston. And we were both really upset and scared, but you made me feel OK about it.
  25. When I would call you crying from Boston, because I was homesick and made a huge mistake not going to FSU.
  26. When I finally got over being homesick, and we were able to still keep calling each other and still be best friends, even though we were far away.
  27. When I would come to visit FSU every year during winter break and get to hang out with you there.
  28. Every time our birthday, January 7th, has rolled around, and you’ve been the first person I want to talk to and wish a happy birthday.
  29. The brief year we lived in the same city — New York — and I’d meet you after work in the Financial District, and we’d go get dinner and drink and whine about how bad the dating scene was.
  30. When I told you I wanted to leave New York, and you let me.
  31. Sorry I keep leaving places when we’re in the same place. I love you. I love that you never make me feel bad for too long.
  32. When you came to visit me in Los Angeles, and I remembered what it was like to have you in the same city as me, and my heart broke but also filled with happiness. We have to be in the same city again at some point, right?!
  33. How crazy wonderful you were while my mom was going through her cancer diagnosis. You let me cry and you reassured me that everything would be OK, and it has been. I always felt better after a phone call with you.
  34. When I had an early twentysomething crisis and imploded my life by quitting my job and breaking up with my then-boyfriend. I immediately flew to New York to be with you.
  35. Which is when I met Jason for the first time. And saw how happy he made you. And how happy you made him. And I was equally happy for this.
  36. And now that we’re older and have money of our own, we’ve decided to treat ourselves to dinner at Bern’s for our birthday every year.
  37. And that first year at Bern’s, when I had never been, and we ate so much food and were so delirious from it that we proposed marriage to each other. I would still marry the shit out of you, girl. Just saying!
  38. When we started taking yearly friendship trips. First to Napa, then to Arizona, and it’s something I look forward to every year.
  39. When we went to Napa, rented bikes, and I immediately fell off mine and skinned my elbow really badly. (Karma for you falling at the FSU tour?!) But you were cool with it and helped me bandage it up in that fancy Napa gas station.
  40. Whenever you’ve talked me through any and all major life issues.
  41. Because you know how crazy wound up I can get, and you always know how to cut through the bullshit and tell me like it is. Thank you for that.
  42. When we were in Phoenix and I was asking you so many questions about how you’d want to be proposed to and what kind of ring you’d like. Because Jason told me he was planning to propose. And I wanted to tell you so badly, but didn’t.
  43. When you got engaged, and called me on the phone to tell me, and I started crying from happiness.
  44. When you tried to FaceTime me into your wedding dress shopping. Fuck FaceTime for failing.
  45. When I got proposed to, and I initially only called my parents and you. You were so happy, and hearing your voice made me even happier than I already was.
  46. When you sent E and I a really lovely engagement gift to celebrate — it sits by our bed. Thank you!
  47. Being able to talk to you about your wedding, and the bachelorette, and the shower, and getting so excited to be able to celebrate you in so many ways.
  48. The fact that we’re both engaged at the same time, and that we’ve joked about getting pregnant together. Except it’s not a joke at all.
  49. Our mutual love of Broad City, and how I jokingly say I’ll peg you someday. Except this also is not a joke at all.
  50. For every time you’ve made me laugh uncontrollably, even when I’ve wanted to cry or was already crying.
  51. For knowing my family so well, and being able to talk me through difficult situations.
  52. And for being able to communicate with each other through a look. Or at least I think we communicate with just looks. I’ve been giving you lots of looks, I hope you know.


I love you so much. I cannot wait to celebrate your bachelorette. And I hope you know that I will probably peg you in Vegas.


Happy Caturday: Proof That Cat People Are Crazy

I’m not saying that a painting of our cat as the pope is at all a sane thing to ask for. But we did ask for it, and we received.

A friend of E’s does paintings like this for fun — cats, dogs, whatever animal you have he can then turn them into a superhero, your favorite celebrity, or the pope, for example. So when E heard this, he asked for one of Fish.

At this point, we’re planning to make some dedicated wall space for paintings of Fish. Because we already have a beautiful likeness of her, painted by E’s mom (see below), and I don’t expect the paintings to stop anytime soon. Fish is quite the muse, after all.  

Sorry, just got lost in my own reflection. #livingthatmuselife #catsofinstagram #catart #imsohot

A photo posted by Fish (@acatcalledfish) on

What I’ve Learned From Writing A Book

I’ve been hiding the fact that I’ve been working on a book for a long time, because I was so terrified something might go wrong, but I’m ready to talk about it. (Stay with me here.)

Writing a book

So… I’M WRITING A BOOK! I’m sure anyone who gets a book deal will say this, but I’ve always wanted to write a book, and it’s so exciting that when I think about it my throat catches and I feel like I might scream. I’M SO EXCITED.

It’s a humor how-to guide called Womanskills, and it will likely hit bookshelves next October, or so my editor tells me. (My Editor, this is such a nice thing to say.)

I’ve quietly been writing the outline, which was approved. Then I wrote the first chapter, which has now been approved. And I’ll be working on the rest of the book over the next few months. It’ll all be done by January, and because I’ve been happily thrown into this, I feel like I now have some takeaways.

  • Procrastination and writer’s block will happen. Like, you think that maybe turning on HGTV for “background noise” will help you get in the zone, and then an hour later you realize your new zone is just watching TV. Personally, I’ve tried to put a time limit on those things, so if I start procrastinating, I give myself an hour, then it’s back to writing and turning off the internet. See evidence of procrastination below:

Decided to take a selfie while working on my book, because I’ve run out of ways to procrastinate. 📖📚💻

A photo posted by Erin La Rosa (@sideofginger) on

    • It’s OK to not talk about your book until you’re really ready to do so. I took a full month to tell people. I mean, I immediately told my cat, E, my parents, my closest friends, and sometimes would just mumble it to myself, but I didn’t start conversations with it. It’s totally fine to be nervous, and to keep exciting things close to you. And yes, people will be mad that you didn’t tell them, saying things like, “Why didn’t you tell me?!” but like, pat them on the back and reassure them that your crippling anxiety really needed this secrecy.


  • However, at some point you should let yourself be excited and share the great news. (See this blog post, for example.)



  • Find a spot that really makes you want to write. I used to think that spot was on my couch, until I kept trying to watch TV. Then I tried my bed, and I kept napping. But the library? Yes, I work quite well in a library. Libraries are quiet and there’s no TV, which for me was basically what I needed. #librariesforever



  • And when you do something, like find your idea for a book, or finish an outline or a chapter or a whole book, celebrate by doing something you had to put off while writing. Like on Sunday I submitted my chapter, so I watched episodes of Hannibal and sat in my pajamas without typing. That was totally lovely.



4 Important Things I’ve Learned About Wedding Planning (So Far)

I have been engaged for all of three months, but I’m already feeling like an expert on this wedding planning thing. Maybe it’s because I’m completely Type-A, and therefore all of my big wedding decisions were made within a month, or… Yeah, no, it’s because I’m Type-A.

In the process of booking a venue, finding a day-of coordinator, and making reservations at six bridal stores to find a dress, I feel like I now have some newfound knowledge. The problem with my knowledge is that after I get married it’ll be completely useless. So for anyone planning a wedding, or thinking about a wedding, or just wanting practical event planning tips, I have some sharing-is-caring tips for you:

Wedding Advice

  • Take people’s advice, and ask for it early on. I actually wish I’d done this a bit sooner, because people have been through this circus before you, and they’re more than happy to impart this otherwise useless knowledge that they’ve absorbed. So ask, and you will receive a lot of gems. (FWIW, A Practical Wedding has been life changing for me.)
  • Become friends with Google docs. I’ve heard and seen on Pinterest that lots of women make binders (binders FILLED with weddings!), but you’ll want the digital version of the binder. I have a wedding folder that has spreadsheets for our guest list, venue options, cake options, DJ options… so many goddamn options. And if you actually want a physical binder, just print out your Google docs. They come in handy when you get a random call from a vendor at 11 on a Tuesday and need to remember what you discussed previously.
  • Weddings can be so expensive. All of the little details and things you must have for the day of… But basically, you can just say “eff it” to a lot of these. No one will hold it against you if you decide not to spend $500 on guest favors. No one loves Jordan almonds THAT much.
  • When you feel stressed about planning, it’s time to take a “let’s celebrate!” break with your partner. People will tell you, “This is supposed to be fun! Relax!” and they have all the best intentions in the world when they say this, but it’s also ignoring the fact that planning a big event comes with stresses. So, take breaks. For us, this has meant a few things. Sometimes we’ll open a bottle of champagne that we were given as an engagement gift and have a Netflix date. And one night we went to the restaurant where we had our first date and told them we were getting married. (Which led to free appetizers, and a free bottle of champagne to take home.) Basically, relax and drink when you need to. And you will need to.

Any advice I missed, marrieds or people planning things? Please share in the comments!

How Our Cat Helped My Fiance Propose

Fiance? Fiancee? I never know, but I think the man gets one “e,” right?

Anyhow, I’m engaged. To be married. It’s so freaking exciting that sometimes I just smile to myself in a super creepy way while alone in my living room. There we go, I’m doing it right now. Creepy smile time.


If you don’t give a flying monkey’s butt about gushy proposal stories, then tag yourself out of this post, because here comes the sappy…. I’ll give you a moment to decide… Done? Cool! Let’s talk about the proposal, because it was awesome, and adorable, and totally perfect.

OK, so for our 3-year-anniversary, E and I went to Ojai, which is about an hour and a half drive from our house. It’s all beautiful mountains, and quaint little country stores, and I heard Reese Witherspoon has a house there, so… so…

Yeah, so we went! And we stayed at the Ojai Valley Inn & Spa (if you’re into all-inclusive things, then this is the place for you!). The first day we were there, we had some massages scheduled, and we decided to grab some food and celebratory cocktails before those happened. See that drink in the photo below? It was lavender lemonade with vodka or something, and it was glorious.


It was so glorious, in fact, that promptly after drinking it we got in our spa robes, and I proceeded to fall asleep on one of the chaise lounges at the spa. (Note: While I was sleeping the drink off, E later told me that he was running through his proposal speech over and over again, so he’d get it right when he finally did propose. I was so day drunk! And blissfully unaware!)

So we get these massages, which were epic, and then hobble back to our hotel room. It was about 6 p.m., and we had dinner reservations at the hotel for 8 p.m. As I showered and blowdry’d the old hair, apparently E was busy tucking the ring inside his coat pocket, and having a mini panic attack (probably).

Something you discover about Ojai pretty quickly is that the people take great pride in their sunsets. They call it the “pink moment,” and our hotel even had a sign out front that predicted when the moment would happen. So we decided to try and go see it, because it was our anniversary, and sunsets are so romantical, and we’re cheesy as hell, OK?

My feet hurt, though. And it was a long walk up the hill to see that pink moment. So I flagged down a golf cart (yes, Ojai Valley Inn & Spa is all about golfing, and you can do things like hitchhike with one).

This probably disturbed E for two reasons:

  1. He had a plan, and this random golf cart driver didn’t know about that plan, and…
  2. Wow, it’s probably going to happen very quickly.

Luckily, this driver was a pro. Like, he knew exactly where to find that pink moment. When he first tried to drop us off, it was in a super crowded spot, and when E said, “Is there anywhere more private?” that probably should’ve tipped me off. But it didn’t. La di da, blissfully unaware still.

We eventually got to the top of a hill, where there was an enormous gazebo with floor-to-ceiling windows that offered a panoramic view of the mountains, about to be dusted in pink. We were alone, inside the gazebo, staring off into the sunset, when E turned me around so he could give me his proposal speech.

I’m not going to recite the actual speech, because it was very personal, and made me cry, and I don’t want other people sobbing while reading, but I WILL share the most important part of that speech. Which is that at one point, E told me he’d been talking to Fish (our cat) about our future together, and they’d both come to an agreement. At this point, I had no idea what was going on, I thought he was just being gushy. But then he pulled out his phone, and showed me this picture…


It was our baby kitty girl! And a ring! And she was next to it! And A RING.

I started sobbing. Just like, balling my eyes out. I cried so much that I didn’t even notice E get down on one knee and ask, “Will you marry me?” He had to ask me again, once I’d pulled myself a little more together. But I was so surprised, like, I don’t know how to explain the feeling of your heart exploding into other little hearts, but that’s what happened to me. I really was so overwhelmed with joy and love that it manifested in me sobbing through most of the proposal.

One of the first things I said AFTER the “yes!!” was “This is so weird, right?! I mean, how weird is this?!” Getting engaged is WEIRD. Like, why don’t more people talk about this? It’s probably one of the strangest moments of joy you’ll ever encounter. One minute your life is one way, and the next a ring on your finger means a total relationship shift.

I had no idea what to do.I called my mom. She was watching The Messengers, and tried to usher me off the phone so she could get back to it. Then when she realized what I was saying, I think she went into shock, as did my Dad. E said, “If you’re too emotional to eat, we can get room service,” to which I said, “Oh no, we’re eating!” I knew that I wanted to celebrate, and I knew that I wanted to remember the rest of that night. We got complimentary champagne and desserts — PRO TIP: TELL EVERYONE YOU JUST GOT ENGAGED, AND ALL THINGS ARE FREE — and watched the pink moment turn into a lovely, starry sky.


OK, that’s the end of the sappy proposal story. We spent the rest of the weekend wine tasting, and eating, and telling our friends the good news. Oh, and we watched an episode of Game of Thrones when we got back, so that’s really just the icing to a perfect weekend, right?

Happy Anniversary, E!

E and I are celebrating our 3-year anniversary this weekend! ::: cue choir of angels flying down from heaven to sing, “Thank you, Sweet Sassy Christ” :::

I’m very lucky to have someone like E, who makes me laugh, knows how to cheer me up whenever I’m feeling down, can cook some SERIOUSLY bomb steak, looks super cute when cuddling with our cat, is an absolutely fantastic writer, and most importantly: is an EXCELLENT dancer.

While going through old photos, I found these gems from my 28th birthday party in 2013. That was the first birthday I celebrated with E, and we went to this really awesome dive bar by my then-apartment in West Hollywood.

By that time, I already knew the truth: E is hands down a truly genius dancer. There’s really no way to describe it, and the photos certainly don’t do it justice. But you can kind of get a sense of his skills by how happy I look here, right?



Three years and he still makes me smile every single day — I hope and try to do the same thing for him. Happy anniversary, E!